| Patterns of Co-Dependency | Recovery Patterns | Fun facts about CoDA | Boundaries | Karpman (not Cartman) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
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Control Patterns
"I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves. I attempt to convince others what to think, do or feel. I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked."
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"In recovery I embrace my own vulnerability by trusting and honoring my feelings and needs."
"Co-dependents often suppress their feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable."
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Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
CoDA is derived from what other peer support program?
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What are rigid boundaries.
Avoids intimacy in close relationships; unlikely to ask for help; very protective of personal information are all examples of...
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The Victim/Martyr
"I'm not okay, but you are, so fix me..." describes the thought/cognitive patterns of...
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Low Self Esteem Patterns
"I have difficulty making decisions. I judge what I think, say or do harshly, as never good enough. I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts."
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"In recovery I am aware of my feelings and identify them, often in the moment. I know the difference between my thoughts and feelings."
"Co-dependents often have difficulty identifying what they are feeling."
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Discovery, recovery and self respect
What are the 3 tenets of CoDA which is a part of their logo?
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What are porous boundaries.
Overshares personal information; difficulty saying "no" to others; dependent on the opinions of others are all examples of...
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The Perpetrator/Offender
These individuals may act out of anger, resentment, revenge, sense of entitlement or shame in ways that are abusive, passive aggressive, or critical/shaming.
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Avoidance Patterns
"I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame or express anger towards me. I judge harshly what others think, say or do. I avoid emotional, physical or sexual intimacy as a means of maintaining distance."
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"In recovery I develop relationships with others based on equality, intimacy and balance."
"Co-dependents often, have to feel needed in order to have a relationship with others."
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In sometimes moderate, sometimes extremely dysfunctional family systems.
Where does CoDA believe Co-Dependency is born?
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What are emotional boundaries.
These boundaries may be violated when someone criticizes, belittles, or invalidates another person's feelings...
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The Rescuer/Caretaker
This individual's feeling/affect may be saintly or superior, unappreciated, and resentful as they seek connection through helping.
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Compliance Patterns
"I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long. I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger. I put aide my own interested in order to do what others want."
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"In recovery I respect my own opinions and feelings and express them appropriately."
"Co-dependents often are afraid to express their beliefs, opinions and feelings when they differ from those of others."
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12 Promises
Traditional 12-step programs have traditions and steps, what additional list of 12 does CoDA have?
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What are intellectual boundaries.
These boundaries involve respect for others' ideas and an awareness of appropriate discussion (should we talk about the weather, or politics?).
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Shame.
This is the way into the Karpman Drama Triangle.
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Denial Patterns
"I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling. I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel. I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the wellbeing of others."
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"In recovery I meet my own needs and wants when possible. I reach out for help when it's necessary and appropriate."
"Co-dependents often are unable to identify or ask for what they need or want."
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Both as a Higher Power of your understanding and God.
How does CoDA describe their higher power in their literature?
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Values own opinions; doesn't compromise values for others; shares personal information in an appropriate way (does not over or under share); knows personal wants and needs and can communicate them; accepting when other's say no to them.
Traits of healthy boundaries include...
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The Reckoning, The Rumble, and The Revolution
The way out of the Karpman Drama Triangle is "thorugh rising strong." This includes...
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