In his "history of the American Civil War", Jeffrey Noland argues that the war has little to do with slavery. However, as a historian from Alabama, Norland could not possibly present an accurate account. Therefore, his arguments should be discounted.

I sneezed at the same time the power went off. My sneeze did something to make the power go off.

Have you stopped snorting cocaine?

We have a duty to do what is right. We have a right to speak out in defense of the innocent. Therefore, we have a duty to speak out in defense of the innocent.

Sesame Street is the best show on TV; and if you don't believe it, I'm going to call my big brother over here and he's going to beat you up.

Of course you should eat Wheaties. Wheaties is the breakfast of a majority of Americans.

Pope Benedict XVI says that the distribution of condoms in Africa aggravates the AIDS crisis. Therefore, we must conclude that programs to distribute condoms in Africa should be halted immediately.

John told Henry that he had made a mistake. It follows that John has at least the courage to admit his own mistakes.

People are driving their cars like maniacs tonight. There must be a full moon.

Of course you want to buy Zing toothpaste. Why, 90 percent of America brushes with Zing.

Humanitarian groups have argued in favor of housing for the poor. Clearly, they are in favor of free housing for all people. And this is absurd.

My father smoked four packs of cigarettes a day since age fourteen and lived until age sixty-nine. Therefore, smoking really can’t be that bad for you.

Each brick in that building weighs less than a pound. Therefore, the building weighs less than a pound.

I heard that the Catholic Church was involved in a sex scandal cover-up. Therefore, my 102-year-old Catholic neighbor, who frequently attends Church, is guilty as well!

There is a good deal of talk these days about the need to eliminate pesticides from our fruits and vegetables. But many of these foods are essential to our health. Carrots are an excellent source of vitamin A, broccoli is rich in iron, and oranges and grapefruits have lots of vitamin C.

Church should begin at 11am because that's the time that we have always begun the church service.

Not believing in the literal resurrection of Jesus because the Bible has errors and contradictions, is like denying that the Titanic sank because eye-witnesses did not agree if the ship broke in half before or after it sank.

I thought you were a good person, but you weren’t at church today.

Either you're with us or you're with the terrorists. The choice should be easy.

If we allow gay marriage, the next thing we know, people will want to marry their dogs, or their cats, or what about their pigs?

Mike: It is morally wrong to cheat on your spouse, why on earth would you have done that?

Ken: But what is morality exactly?

Mike: It’s a code of conduct shared by cultures.

Ken: But who creates this code?...

No one has ever seen Mr. Andrews drink a glass of wine, beer, or any other alcoholic beverage. Probably Mr. Andrews is a non drinker.

Paranormal activity is real because I have experienced what can only be described as paranormal activity.

Mr. Franklin has lost at the craps table for the last ten throws of the dice, Therefore, it is extremely likely that he will win on the next throw.

Killing people unjustly is wrong, so the death penalty is wrong.