| Role Play- What would you do? | True or False | The Exception | Dishonesty | How to be more Honest |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Examples:
"I feel uncomfortable when you continue to ask me about this. Can you please respect my boundaries and stop?" "I had a family emergency and do not want to get into the details of it."
Using an "I" statement, respond to the following scenario using honesty:
A coworker asks where you have been for the past month without knowing you've been in treatment. They continue to ask where you were even though you've tried to change the subject. |
True
Honesty helps improve your relationships
|
True
There are specific situations where being dishonest is the RIGHT thing to do
|
Saying something that isn't true.
What is active lying?
|
Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself
Example: stand your ground, leave the situation, decide that the other person cannot hear you right now. If you get a bad reaction when being honest, what is the first thing you should do? |
|
I feel anxious being around alcohol right now. Can you please drink elsewhere?
I feel hurt that you brought alcohol into the house even after we discussed my boundaries. I feel uncomfortable being around alcohol. If you choose to drink in the house I will go elsewhere.
Using an "I" statement, respond to the following scenario using honesty:
Your partner opens a bottle of wine in front of you the day you get back from treatment; you already discussed they would not drink around you or have alcohol in the house. |
True
In recovery AND PTSD, secrecy, lies, denial, and avoidance are hallmarks of both disorders
|
False: If honesty is not safe, do not be honest
Even if your safety is in jeopardy, you should still be honest.
|
Omitting the truth- not saying something that is true.
What is passive lying?
|
Blame
Fill in the blank: If someone reacts poorly to your honesty, Do Not ________ yourself. |
|
I feel angry when you said ______.
Using an "I" statement, respond to the following scenario using honesty:
Your therapist says something that makes you mad |
True
Being honest can help promote recovery, respect oneself, and improve your relationships.
|
TRUE
If you have tried to tell your mother about your trauma and she does not "hear you" or blames you, it is okay not to be honest
|
I told my husband I was at the nail salon instead of the bar
Give an example of a time you actively lied
|
Positives
Fill in the blank:
A way to be more honest is to: Emphasize _______ that might help the person hear you better. |
|
I want to come clean about my actions last night...
I feel guilty about something I did yesterday.... I feel ashamed because I used cocaine yesterday. I also feel scared that I will no longer be able to stay here and continue to use. I need help.
Using a substance will get you evicted from your sober living but you use cocaine one night. At the daily check-in the next day, you feel guilty and ashamed but don't want to get kicked out.
|
False: "Honesty is worthwhile even if other do not respond well.
If others do not respond well to your honesty, you should consider being less honest in the future
|
FALSE; full honesty is not always necessary if trust has not been built.
Early on in a relationship, omitting personal information about your substance abuse and/or trauma is considered lying
|
You are angry at a friend but don't tell them.
Your therapist asks what substances you have used and you tell them alcohol, even though you are also using marijuana.
Give an example of a time you passively lied
|
I need to take a moment for myself. I feel hurt when you called me a ______. I will not allow you to speak to me like that. I am going to take a moment for myself and want you to think about what you just said to me. I feel scared when you yell at me. Use an "I" statement to respond the the scenario: Your partner raises their voice at you in an argument and calls you a hurtful name. |
|
"I want to validate your feelings and be honest with you, but I am scared."
I think it is best we plan a time to sit down and talk together this week to discuss your concerns.
Using an "I" statement, respond to the following scenario using honesty:
Your 17 year old daughter asks you where you have been the last 30 days. All they know is you've been on a "retreat" but start questioning why you no longer drink and suspect you have been lying about where you went. |
False: the foundation is being true to yourself first
The FOUNDATION of honesty is being true to others, and then yourself.
|
Abusive relationship
What is an example of a situation in which your physical safety could be at risk if you're honest?
|
Example:
My husband did not tell me he was resentful. I felt hurt and ashamed.
Tell the group about a time someone passively lied to you...what did it make you feel?
|
I feel angry that you just lied to me. I feel hurt that you just lied to me
Your loved one lies to your face about something. How do you respond using an "I" statement?
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