| Change Anything | Start with the Heart | The Path to Action | Anatomy of Peace #1 | Anatomy of Peace #2 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
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Calvin and Hobbes
What comic book characters do I love to use as an example in teaching?
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Biological response to conflict/dangerous situations
What is fight or flight?
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Mental Thought Process
Actions occur after what?
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Failure
When our hearts are at war, what do we not only invite but also invest in?
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As Objects
When our hearts are at war, how do we see others?
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Vital Behaviors
What do you call the tasks you make to change behavior?
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Silence is any act to withhold information. It's almost always done as a means of avoiding potential problems.
What is Silence in conflict?
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See/Hear
What is the first step on the path to action?
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We invite allies, we get others to see our side of things.
How do we make a collusion, or situations worse?
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A person with needs, cares, worries, and fears that matter like mine do and EXAMPLE
When our hearts are at peace, how do we see others and give an example
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Where you use your social life to help change behavior. You turn accomplices into friends and have transformation conversations.
What is Social Ability
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Violence consists of any verbal strategy that attempts to convince, control, or compel others to your point of view.
What is Violence in conflict?
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It's all your fault, and the other person in the conflict is the one responsible.
What is the Villain Story?
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Any 2 of the following:
Listen and Learn, Teach and Communicate, Build the Relationship, Build the Relationship with others who have influence, Get out of the box/Obtain a heart at peace
Name 2 ways we can help things go right in our relationships with our children?
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We justify our decision by going into the different justification boxes
When we make a wrong choice we do what to feel better about our decision?
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Where you change how you view a task so you are capable to accomplish it. Change the undesirable into the desirable.
What is Personal Motivation
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Silence: Masking, Avoiding, Withdrawing
Violence: Controlling, Labeling, Attacking
List 2 examples each of how we all use Silence and Violence in conflict:
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Change to: Am I pretending not to notice my role in the problem/conflict
How do you change the Victim story to something better, what do you ask yourself?
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He forgot to park the car so it rolled off a cliff and the father showed he cared more about the son than the car. EXAMPLE
What happened in the story of the son borrowing the dad's car? Name a time in your life when you felt like the son and how it worked out
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It's where you feel you are always being judged and are constantly trying to be viewed as perfect and good so that others view you in a good light.
What is the Must-Be-Seen As Box
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Structural motivation is setting up a reward system to achieve goals. Structural ability is changing the environment around you so it's easier to achieve your goals.
What is Structural Motivation and Structural Ability?
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Shared Meaning
When we avoid using Silence and Violence and talk in a safe atmosphere we create a pool of what?
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What's one thing I can do right now about this and EXAMPLE
How do you change the Helplessness story and give an example of a real life situation
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1. What I do
2. What the other person sees 3. What they do 4. What I see
What are the 4 steps in a collusion?
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Better-Than
I-Deserve Worse-Than
Besides the Must be seen as box, what are the other three boxes of justification?
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